Thursday, September 5, 2013

Setting a Precedent...

Had an interesting chat with Firefighter today. I can't remember how the subject came up, but we were talking about gift giving. Last year, my dilemma was different. Our relationship was 'casual', so that to me means that I get out of gift-giving.... however, Firefighter gave me a gift for my birthday, unexpectedly, which meant that I then had to get him a gift for his birthday, which was right before Christmas, so I bought him an inexpensive gift for Christmas and he got me one... then my girlfriend informed me that he had gotten me a Valentine's gift. It snow-balled from there....


So. My mum has a policy, which I have adopted for myself, because, well it make sense. My older sister, Curly, went through a phase. During this phase she had, oh, let's say around 6 or 7 boyfriends. So to avoid spending money on someone who may or may not make it through to the next holiday, my mum initiated the following:

  1. First year, you get a card (if less than 6 months), with a bottle of booze (if more than 6months)
  2. Second year, you get an inexpensive gift, usually humourous
  3. Third year, you're almost family, you get something slightly more expensive, that you can actually use or wear or whatever is appropriate. 
  4. Fourth year, you're family and the gift is probably joint if we're living together or easily shared if we're not... (for Christmas).
So, I haven't really shared my 'relationship' with my mum. She knows I'm seeing someone, but very little else. On purpose. It's casual, not committed so why say anything? Yes, I feel guilty. His family know all about me. And his best friends. Well, actually, no I don't feel guilty. This is what he wants.

Last year, I paid for his dinner at Hooters with his high school buddies and bought him a Cowboys t-shirt. His 40th is coming up and I was planning on either throwing him a nice shin-dig, or buying him the Microsoft Surface that I know he'd love. The $349 RT version, not the $999 Pro.

Anyway, the dark side of me won out today. While talking about appropriate gifts for 'significant' others, I let slip that I follow the same premise as my mum and that those in my inner circle get gifts from Saks. This really isn't anything new to him since I bought his best friends new daughter gifts from Saks and I hadn't even met them... and then let drop that since I've only had 2 boyfriends, my mum has only had to invoke this rule twice for me. 

So. My birthday is up first. He is frugal, yet thoughtful and I know he doesn't have the resources that I do, but it will be interesting to see what he comes up with. I sincerely hope that it's not football related. While I do love the Niners, a girl does like to be treated like a girl every now and then. Especially around birthdays and Christmas.... something sparkly, or lacy would be nice... Just saying. My ex failed abysmally in this area. Never planned a party, or even got me a gift that I hinted at for months and months in advance. It was always last minute flowers and chocolates. Even after 10 years.

But then, we're just casual. Who says he has to get me anything?

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