Thursday, June 27, 2013


So my lil sister has been with me for a couple weeks now (minus the two weeks she was with her dad in San Diego, it's actually only been a couple days), and I already find myself in the unenviable position of playing the role of Switzerland for my family. Only I'm finding it increasingly difficult not to make it a war with three sides instead of two....!

The short version. My sister is INCREDIBLY spoilt. By my mum (and to a lesser extent her dad), who is in denial and claims she treated us all equally. Don't get me wrong, my mum is awesome, but when my sister was born, we two older children were already in our teens, and living with our dad, so she was mostly an only child. I went to live with them when I was 16 or 17 for just a few months before I moved out on my own, but was still a regular fixture in the home. Essentially, I was her discipline. My mum let her have whatever she wanted regardless of her behaviour... This bred an expectation of entitlement that cannot be blamed on my sister. By the time she reached her teens, she was unmanageable. By all except me. Who by this times had moved 3000 miles away to the US. I began to receive almost regular phone calls highlighting the reprehensible antics of my sister now that my mum had decided she doesn't like being a kicking post. Through various encounters, my older sister and younger sister ceased speaking to each other. Joy. I won't go into detail, but there is MUCH fault on BOTH sides. My opinion is that our older sister, Curly, needs to be the example and apologise for things she has said and done, but my younger sister, Boo, also owes many apologies. Neither is willing to budge however.

So fast-forward to what should be Boo's final year in college. She's having a rough time, won't talk to anyone and is emotionally abusive towards our mum. Not intentionally, sadly it's her personality that has been allowed to fester without being kept in check. She lacks compassion and empathy. Completely. Is very black and white about pretty much everything and doesn't give two hoots if she offends someone. It's ironic that she plans a career in psychology (pediatric neuro-psychology to be exact).

But wait. She talks to me. A fact that everyone, mum, aunt, sister, gran, all latched onto and before you know it, her plane tickets are booked and I have a babysitter for my boys for the THREE MONTH LONG summer vacation!

I apologise if any of this is repeated in previous blogs. I was quite looking forward to the company, and the first weekend was awesome! We went to the beach, she told me all her problems and seemed very upbeat. However. She seems to take a perverse joy in telling me I'm old (34. Really?). And claims that everything I eat is unhealthy (her lunch on Tuesday was potato chips, mine was a pasta bake with chicken and sweetcorn, low fat cheese and low fat cream of chicken soup). My meals tend to include at least 4 of the 5 food groups, hers lack at least 3. We made a fun bet to try to see who could lose 10lbs in 2 weeks. I plan to eat well and go to the gym, she plans a mini starvation diet of mostly vegetable stir fry....

I start to begin to see the issues... I can't wait for her to meet my friends. All of whom are just barely 3-4 years older, with completed degrees, homeowners and not sponging off siblings or parents... I told my mum I would not adjust my lifestyle for her, she is here as my employee. She will have to suck it up or it will be a very long 3 months. I am her last ally and she is quickly wearing on my patience. Old! I'd like for her to have been there when two 26 year old hotties refused to believe I am 34.... smh. The cheek of it!

She may be trying to get the same reaction she got out of my mum, but here's what she doesn't realise, I don't have time or energy for her drama. And I will lose my 10lbs in whatever HEALTHY fashion I choose (already 3lbs down this week despite the half box of chocolates I inhaled last night....)

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Busy Busy Bee!

I have been absent for a while... I have been so busy, I don't know where to begin! Things that have occurred since my last post:

I was quietly laid off from the job that I hated (wasn't so much a job as paid Facebook time). They hinted at me quitting, but it was their mistake in hiring me, so I held out for the lay-off package. Check for $10,000 before taxes? Yes, please! I was hired barely a week later at a large bank, so the joke is on them since I had at least two positions already lined up. So the check allowed me to pay for a trip home to my cousin's wedding in Scotland, buy a new car, and basically have some me time.

My sister Boo arrived from the UK. I was nervous about having her stay with me as we really haven't spent much time together since I moved out of my mum's 17 years ago, but we are shockingly similar in nature and so far have got on like a house on fire! We spent a girly weekend heading to the beach in Charleston, SC, dropped my daughter off at my uncle's in Valdosta, GA, then headed up to Atlanta where she flew to San Diego for a couple of weeks with her dad. She is sadly not enjoying the visit. However, during the long road trip(s), we talked. A lot. I totally understand her issues with our mum. Having lived with mum, I have been in her shoes. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother to death, but she is the kind of mother who can't let go of the reins... That's really a story for another post, but I will be spending the summer trying to help my sister learn how to be her own person and not let mum dictate what that person should be. It's a fine line...

And finally, I booked a weekend in Atlanta for myself and Firefighter... This will be our first 'mini-vacation'. In other words, the longest time in each others company... So I had booked a hotel to stay at since my uncle will be returning Baby Girl to me this weekend and Boo returns from Cali. Since I have been gone for the last 2 weekends, I kind of off-handedly invited Firefighter to come with me. I didn't really expect him to take the time off work and come with, but I felt I should ask. And then he said yes, lol. So just when I think it's reverting back to casual, he springs another surprise. Well, I returned from the UK Monday, and invited him to dinner Tuesday (it's spaghetti night, no one ever turns down my spaghetti :-)). After looking at the pics of my trip, he asked what did I have planned for Saturday in Atlanta. Well, I have the Colour Vibe 5k that morning and then the long drive to ATL, so I really hadn't thought of it. So he asks would I mind meeting up with his cousins and sister who also happen to be there that weekend... Oooops. I remembered he said they were going, but I didn't realise it was the same weekend. He was supposed to go with them as it is the annual family vacation, but elected not to. Until I asked him. He will also get to meet my sister when we pick her up from the airport and my uncle when he passes through. I had thought to avoid too much family involvement as they expect longevity and wouldn't understand Firefighter's position on relationships, but we'll see. Having spent the last weekend explaining to my aunt the nature of mine and Firefighter's 'friendship', I'm not sure I can pull it off with my uncle... he sees through me all too clearly.