Monday, May 13, 2013

It's a new dawn, a new .... week!

OK, so last week was an epic fail. I was so downtrodden and beat by the end of the week that I may have upset firefighter. I will make it up to him, but at least he's still talking to me. This weekend was the first in months that we didn't spend all day everyday together. Partly because it was Mother's Day and partly because I have been backing off lately so he is probably just a little confused, but I had to sort myself out a little bit and I needed the space to do that.

So because my sister was so awesome and patient and just everything I needed in a friend last week, I sent her a bouquet of flowers. My mum may have been a little upset that she didn't get any, but to be honest she has been a little selfish and I needed to make a point. Every time my mum has spoken to me it has been so that I could make arrangements that suited my baby sisters impending 3 month visit. Well, I'm sorry I've had more pressing matters to deal with than someone else's delicate sensibilities, like how to refurnish an entire house while simultaneously paying off the joint debt from my marriage that my ex seems disinclined to assist with, raising three children with their own sets of issues (except Little One who still seems to be dealing remarkably well) and apparently serving as everyone else's sounding board while struggling to cope on my own. Oh and the usual day-to-day issues like paying bills, running errands, working.... Did I mention the excruciating back pain that makes all of that just that little more challenging? Yeah, so while I love my baby sister, I'm not really in the right frame of mind to look up flight information for her to take a vacation in San Diego (that her dad is paying for), or make the phone calls chasing said pater to make sure he books the flights... so yeah, my sister has listened to me crying over how to deal with a teen with hormones, a child with anger management issues and an ex who is just a giant ass, but also helped me with the firefighter and get over my angst of getting into a new relationship. I will forever love her, and her husband, for just being there. There is 3000 miles away, but it's better than trying to cope alone as I was before.


So anyway. Mother's Day has always been a sore point. My ex never bothered. So I've quite literally never had a Mother's Day. Oh my mum sends flowers (just like she sent me cards when I was younger and never received Valentine's Day cards), and I get text messages from my uncle and my dad, but the whole breakfast in bed, complete day of relaxation and\or pampering, fancy dinners out, or cooked at home... yeah, never had that whole experience. Now some people would have expected my firefighter to do that, but to be honest, I don't feel that it's his place. Our relationship isn't at that level. Yes, he offered to take me to lunch, and this is where I upset him. I turned him down (with some pretty lame excuses because I suck at lying).

I gave myself two choices. Stay at home and do nothing thus avoiding seeing and hearing everyone else's special day. Or take myself out. Now, this is typically also how my birthday goes. My last birthday I paid for  everything, including everyone's entrance to the club. (This year, I'm not doing that.) So I got dressed all pretty, went to the mall and bought myself a new outfit, got a makeover done by my favourite artist at Dior, who also treated me to some fabulous freebies!! and then went to lunch\dinner at my favourite steakhouse, Fleming's where the bartender then gave me free drinks (I was drinking an $11 a glass chardonnay) and a $25 gift card for my next visit. I had another few hours before I had to get the boys, so I went to see The Great Gatsby, fabulous movie by the way! Very well done! Love Baz Lehrmann! So I rescued what was looking to be a pretty foul day. Then my firefighter asked if I was going to watch the Jodi Arias Dateline special, because he wanted to watch with me. It's our thing when we can't be in the same place, we watch movies or shows long distance. It's cute. I think he was a little put out that I went to see a movie without him, but he had family obligations. And we have that trip to the beach coming up that still has me in knots.

Oh. And Baby Girl is in my bad books. She was MIA all weekend and made no attempts at a Mother's Day gift. Or card. Or hug. I'm going to hate the teen years.

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