How's that for an ego-boost?

So I've had a shitty week. Emotionally I mean. It's been a mostly 'normal' week in terms of work, school, kids, etc, but emotionally, I was a bit of a wreck. Compounded by the fact that I felt abandoned when I really needed friends, it was definitely one of the toughest weeks I've had in a while. Nothing really changed, but every now and then I have a mini-meltdown. During those rare times, I become more like a needy, weepy, wuss than the rock everyone seems to expect, so is it so terrible that I expect someone to be MY rock for a change? Well, this week apparently, it was a little too much to ask for and I had to get through it on my own. I'm still not ready to go into detail, but let's just say when I wrote down a list of all that was bothering me, that I have to deal with - alone- it was overwhelming. I cried. Great big heaving sobs. On the floor of my closet. Alone. It hurt, but it showed me something. I am a really good friend.

So anyway, yesterday I was better. I was able to talk to Elle, the sales admin at work. I had to apologise for ignoring her when she tried to reach out to me the day before, but she understood. She listened, didn't patronise me with the usual useless platitudes. Didn't berate me. Her comments and feedback were encouraging, and I appreciated her all the more for it. So by the time I left to get the kids to their piano lesson I was halfway on my way to being back to normal. My firefighter had been in a Homeland Security class all day, but got out early, so I suggested he come over, but by the time I was done with errands, it was getting late, so we rescheduled for this evening. I got home bouncing full of energy, so I had the kids clean out their mess from my car while I cleaned inside the house and started dinner. I poured myself a drink and read my book in the quiet while they 'cleaned' my car. Then after dinner and the kids had finished their homework, the four of them (my daughter's friend had come over for dinner) played X-Box for a while. Golden opportunities do not often present themselves like that so I poured myself another drink and went upstairs, showered and washed my hair. I put MC on Throwback Jams, cranked the volume as loud as I dared and happily sang along while drying my hair.

Around 9pm, still buck-naked, I unlocked my door, stuck my head out and told the brats to brush their teeth and go to bed, closed the door and went back to dancing around my room. I had decided to go to the Alehouse to play pool for a bit since I apparently wasn't going to sleep. So I came out of my bathroom, stepped into my closet, quietly noticing my door had crept open. My daughter had come in to talk while I dressed, so I thought nothing of it and carried on perusing my closet for something to wear.... 60 seconds later I about hit the ceiling when the baby (he's 7, I really should stop calling him the baby) jumped out from behind me in the closet! No telling how long the little rat had been hiding in there, but he took several years off my life!

So anyway, this apparently is taking longer than I thought to get to the good part....

I haven't been to the Alehouse to play pool in a few months. Not since the firefighter and I got a little more serious than originally planned. That's a blog for another day! There are quite a few regular players who I'm friendly enough with so I knew I'd get a game or two. Harry was there. He's one of my favourites. Pushing 80 years old at least, he's always good fun and winning goes back and forth between us. I lost last night. In fact I lost pretty much every game except the last two, but that's not the point of my story. I didn't play badly. I just didn't play to my usual caliber, but last night was different in that I had an audience... that kept growing. It was a little unnerving. All of the male species. Some were a little more forward than others and outright complimented me. Others just quietly stood by and discussed the merits of how I could make incredibly difficult shots and missed the easy ones lined up in front the pockets. This is not something I'm used to and I'm terrible at receiving compliments. I don't blush easy, but if you want to see it, just tell me I'm pretty. Some tried to buy me drinks, but I was driving, so was on sweet tea. One tried to pass off his quarters as mine when I tried to leave. Followed me outside to return my quarters... that weren't mine. It was kinda cute. So trying to shoot pool with a crowd of 'admirers' apparently isn't easy and threw me off my game, but I went home with a buzz.

A well needed boost to my self-esteem. Last night I earned the moniker the bar-staff gave me months ago "Hot chick".