Property Settlement

Have you ever had one of those conversations where the other participant is just outright lying and the whole world knows it, but they just keep going? Well, I had one of those experiences just this week during the Property Settlement Mediation with my former spouse.

I won't go into the sordid details, but let's just say someone was definitely greedy and made several false statements about who, how and when various MARITAL items were purchased. At the end of the 3 hour session he had taken BOTH sectionals, and most of the communal furniture, leaving me with just mine and the kids bedroom furniture and two dining tables. Yes really. So I currently have possession of the house, but until we go in front of the judge ownership remains a joint obligation. An obligation that I have been paying for for the last 3-4 years, I might add. My former spouse has had one goal the entire time: He insists that he get the house. It doesn't bother him that his children live there, and at one point in the proceedings when asked by the mediator what he suggested I do if I were forced to vacate the premises, he stated "She can go back to England". Well, first, yes, I have family there and I love it, but I am, by birth and all the rights associated, an American citizen.... Needless to say, this statement made his lawyer cringe just a little. Well actually, I believe he threw his hands up and almost left the room. My ex-husband had joined via phone given that there is a Protective Order in my favour and he was in Colorado Springs, so he was not able to see his own legal counsel's reaction. It was pointed out to him on more than on occasion that the judge is not at all likely to rule in his favour, but he insists on having his "day in court". So we moved on and arrived at our 401K retirement plans. Mine with a value of $1656 on the Date of Separation. His: $45,000 and he had graciously allowed that North Carolina law says that all assets and debts be divided equally (shame he didn't take this into consideration with the furniture). So he was somewhat disappointed to discover that he would be splitting my $1656 and his $45000 between us. The irony was not lost when my lawyer suggested that in lieu of dividing his 401K, I was quite happy to forego it in exchange for the house (that is currently $60,000 in arrears and has zero equity). His response: (see above).

For the first time in 2 years, I am actually looking forward to visiting the courthouse. I have no idea what tricks he has up his sleeve that he thinks will tip the scales in his favour, but I am looking forward to finding out.

On a more serious note, his erratic behaviour has been largely related to the fact that he REALLY, REALLY wants and believes he deserves the house... I do have concerns that the worst is yet to come...