Thursday, January 10, 2013

Dear Tooth Fairy... You're Fired!

I feel terrible. I lied to my child. I arrived home from work last night to be cheerfully greeted by my 8 year old, sporting a huge grin displaying a newly created gap where a tooth should have been. "Pulled it out in class" He proudly declares.

Well first of all I'm mortified that I wasn't aware of just how wobbly this tooth was... The adult tooth was already halfway errupted and resembled somewhat of a fang. I should have paid more attention. I did a quick mental inventory of the contents of my wallet and established that I had a couple of $5's, $10's and a stack of $20's. Sigh. Gonna have to get change. No big deal, I'm heading to the gym later, I'll stop at the gas station for some Gatorade and break a $20. Perfect.

Not perfect. I bought two Gatorade's one for before and one for recovery afterwards as I had planned a grueling cardio session. My change from $20? $15. And I was so preoccupied, I didn't realise until I was halfway down the road that I needed some $1's. Sigh.

I return from the gym and the children have been successfully tucked up in bed by the 12 year old. No, not quite 100% successful as I hear  the 6 year old "I can't sleep". My response: "OK, get back up and clean up your room" thinking this would elicit a 'never mind' response. Nope. They both (8 and 6) bounce up and clean their room and the loft!! Miracle! And then 15 minutes later they are tucked up back in bed.

I shower, and hit the sack myself by 10:30. And then wake up at 11:45. I don't return to sleep until approximately 30 minutes before the FIRST alarm goes off at 4:15am. I am supposed to get up and knock out 20 minutes of zumba, but I'm tired, hit snooze and roll over. I do this for the next hour or so... And am woken up at 6:15 by the 8 year old: "The tooth fairy didn't give me any money, but she took my tooth." Oh. My. God. I had forgotten! And at this bleary hour of the morning, I cannot think as fast as usual, I mumble something vague about getting dressed because we've already missed the bus and I'll call the Tooth Fairy and fire her. (I thought that was smart, I don't know why).

I take a sneak opportunity to check the bed for the tooth and find that it has indeed vanished! WTF? Oh well, I slip 4 quarters (yes I know, the Tooth Fairy is on a budget in my house) under his pillow while they are getting in the car. My story? The Tooth Fairy was also running late this morning, and hadn't finished the job before you woke up, so she hid until you were gone! WOW, isn't that dedicated? I guess we can rehire her?

I will update you on just how gullible my children are if I am able to pull this stunt off this evening. The 6 year old, who will be 7 in a mere 9 days, has yet to lose a tooth... I'm in trouble...

**UPDATE** Well, the Tooth Fairy was able to salvage her job! Upon returning home from school, my son found the $1 under his pillow. Ironically, it was the 6 year old who asked "Did you call her? What did she say?" My response? "She apologised, but she was interrupted while retrieving the tooth and had to hide until you went to school so she could leave the money." Yes, it was that simple.

Unfortunately, I still have one more child to get through this stage....

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