So I was sitting watching Julie and Julia with a bottle of wine this evening and although it's been mentioned to me before that I should start a blog, I never really had anything much that I wanted to say. Or so I thought. But 2011 has been one of those years where I questioned every decision I ever made. Questioned whether I was a good mother, a good wife or even a good person. But on reflection, I can answer the first two in the affirmative and the third, well, I'm sure those who know me will have their own opinions, but I give to charity every year, I suck it up and keep it to myself in order to make others happy, but more importantly I WANT to be a good person. Of course, we can't always be perfect, but as long as the intention is there, surely that counts for something?
So as the year closes out and we usher in 2012, I will try to share my deepest, most private thoughts with the rest of the world in the most honest fashion I can. Some days will be dull to some as I vent about work, others may amuse as I share stories about my 3 children who I lovingly refer to as "the Brats", but then there are the days when I will share my pain and fears of being a battered wife. I have 3 months left on a Protective Order from my husband of 5 years, who has caused concussions, brachial plexitis and a herniated disk. 3 months to decide whether to file for divorce or make the second biggest mistake of my life and let him back in... It's a long and sordid story, one I haven't shared fully with anyone, not even my therapist. Shame, humiliation and an overwhelming feeling of failure prevent me.
So here I am. 33 year old mother-of-3 information architect for a very well-known communications company and I invite you to share in my life as I know it.