A monumentally shitty day

I had one of those days yesterday where I felt like an utter failure. The day started off badly when I couldn't get up and out the door to get the boys to the bus in time, so I ended up driving them all the way to school, which then made me 45 minutes late for work. The should have been my first clue that things were not going to go my way.

A year ago I was hired at the company I'm currently at because, and I quote, "They were desperately in need of some SharePoint knowledge". They were right, however in the last 11 months, I have barely touched SharePoint. All my suggestions for improvements of existing, non-SharePoint business tools have been kicked aside with "we don't need to focus on that at the moment." My attempts to get management to assign me some SharePoint related work have been answered with "We'll find you something to do soon, don't worry. In the meantime we'll have you help out on the ASP Helpdesk." Two things wrong with this. Well three, but the first is obvious, so I won't list it. The second thing wrong with this is that I must be the highest paid and over-qualified database restore 'expert' in the world.... The third thing, I haven't worked helpdesk in 13 years, so this is a backwards step which is not good for any career. So yesterday, I decided I was going to overhaul one of their systems and just not tell them about it until I was ready to show them how SharePoint is bigger and better than their 15 year old ASP based hodge-podge of tools. Don't get me wrong, ASP is a fantastic language, however, SharePoint is a business platform and leverages many out of the box and custom features to build robust easily sustainable business systems.... So I started poking around, looking at the code and trying to decide where to start small. This made me happy. For a while.

Until....

I get a phone call from Bad Boy's Vice Principle. Sigh.

He had lost his temper again only this time he had told another child that he was going to bring an AK47 to school and shoot him. I almost crumbled. Tears came to my eyes as I held my breath and waited for the Principle to tell me he was going to have to expel him from school. With only 5 weeks left. Well, the words never came. He was new to the school and the Principle was out for the day, so he didn't know the background. I filled him in on how we have been trying to help Bad Boy and he patiently talked through our options so we can finish the school year. Crisis averted. For now.

I took a break and drove out to see my firefighter (I love calling him that), for lunch. I didn't bring up what was on my mind, just enjoyed chatting about silly stuff.

I returned to the office, plugged my earphones back in with some Deep House playing on di.fm and went back to perusing the archaic and clunky Stellar system. Then came the next piece of bad Karma. An email from Baby Girl's Language Arts teacher. She was not completing assignments again. Well, then I go and look at her grades and those grades she'd managed to get up B's and D's have turned into F's. Again. The only B remaining was in Math, which for some reason she has no problems in.

That was my undoing. I tried to get through the rest of the day, but couldn't. At 3pm I needed to talk to someone before I burst, so I called my sister. My angel. Always there. It was late in the UK and she was putting my nieces to bed, but she said she would call me back in 5 minutes. So I waited. 10 minutes. But she called. I totally broke down, she listened patiently between all the sobs and then helped talk me through it. My face was a mess, but I felt a little like someone cared. It's hard to realise that when I need help, it's 3000 miles away and it makes me want to go home. That's how I felt yesterday. I wanted to pack everything up and get on the next plane home.

I was able to calm down enough to pack up my desk and drive to pick up the boys. When I get to daycare, the after-school supervisor came over, I thought to say good bye, but no, my run of foul luck wasn't over yet. Bad Boy had called another boy the 'N' word. And when asked where he learned it, one word came out. "Dad". Holding back my temper at that point was all I could do, took every ounce of strength.

When will it end?

The things children say....

Had one of those cringe-worthy moments last night...

I had come home from work in excruciating pain and decided that I should take it easy so I took a pain-killer and laid down on the sofa with the TV on my favourite channel Investigation Discovery. The show was Cold Blood and was about the rape and murder of a young woman in the late eighties or early nineties when DNA was still new. Every now and then Bad Boy likes to come and watch with me. Actually, all three of them do, but curiously not at the same time, lol! Anyway, he had just finished vacuuming for me (yes, I abuse any injury or illness to get the kids to help out!) so he sat down and asked what I was watching. Now Bad Boy is incredibly smart. He tends to choose non-fictional books about snakes, amphibians, whales, you name it, he'll read it and he retains pretty much every fact in the book and can usually recite it! Future Biologist, maybe? He is also very inquisitive and is NOT afraid to ask questions.

So anyway, the narrator went on to talk about how sperm had been found in the underwear and on the body of the victim... I think you know where this is going. My wonderful, bright, beautiful little boy turns to me and asks "Mum, what's sperm?" Luckily, I was able to deflect the question, with "Shhh, I'll explain later, I want to hear what they're saying." A few minutes later, my 'fourth child' who is actually Baby Girl's best friend distracted Bad Boy by asking him to go play the Wii U with him upstairs... Embarrassment averted?

No.

An hour or so later, I managed to get myself upstairs and into bed while the children were eating. I let them watch TV for another 30 or so minutes, and then called them up to bed. First the Little One came in and gave me a hug and a kiss, then it was Bad Boys turn. He turned to leave, but then seemed to remember something and turned back.... Uh oh.

Bad Boy "Mum, can you see sperm?" I choked and sputtered. How do you answer that? He's not quite 9 yet....
Me "Ummmm, yes."
Bad Boy "What does it look like?" Crap. If I answer this one, there will be more...
Me "Honey, mummy just took  her medicine and is really sleepy, maybe we could talk about this in a few years when you're a little older?"

So any suggestions on how to avoid this subject until he does biology, gets his first Playboy magazine, or watches his first porno with his friends, would be gratefully accepted! Lord, how will I get through his first wet dream? Someone will need to teach both boys how to use the washing machine, so I can avoid all knowledge of either of these events...

Time for him to read "Where do I come from?" I think. Peter Mayle should receive a sainthood for writing that book!!

Wanted: Personal Assistant!

Trying to keep up with three kids, a full-time job, the house and bills and a happily busy social life is starting to get exhausting!! And now with summer right around the corner, I have to squeeze in a little gym time, trips to the beach, the zoo and whatever else might amuse my kids and my baby sister (not really a baby, she's 22) who is coming to stay with us for THREE months!

Sigh....

And the boyfriend, who is becoming a little bit more of a fixture :-) I have to find time to make a trip to the beach to meet his best friend and his wife with their newborn daughter. That was a bit of a surprise, but a pleasant one.

So the month of May includes the following:

• My daughter's final band concert of the year
• Yet another court hearing, this time Property Settlement. Their current offer does not quite fit my definition (or anyone else's) of EQUITABLE distribution!
• Mother's Day (this is likely to be no different than any other day given that my kids are too young to do anything for me)
• Patrice's housewarming... which apparently includes an after-party
• The neighbourhood 'Spring Fling' which occurs on the same day as Patrice's housewarming
• A trip to the beach to meet my firefighter's friends and their baby (let's hope I do not show any broodiness...)

I still haven't made the guest room habitable for my sister, so there'll be a month of furniture moving, cleaning and Lord knows what else to get that done, and somehow without letting my son's know why since they have no idea their aunt is coming for summer! How my daughter and I have kept it quiet this long, I will never know.

And then a seven day stretch of birthdays! My son, mum, aunt, niece, step-granddad, and sister. All between May 30 and June 6th! My sister arrives June 5th and then we roll straight into a crazy month of June.

No pressure. I need an extra 8 hours in each day, have 4 calendars to keep track of and never get to the bottom of any to-do list, but hey, what would I do with myself if I ever did? I could sleep, I guess.... that would be nice....

If you're happy and you know it, crack a smile!

Baby Girl's sleepover was the expected traumatic experience.  What else would it be with 5 hormonal girls spending several hours in each others company? 

But that's not what this post is about. I had decided to invite some ladies over to hangout and catch up and my best friend Eb came over early so we could do some much needed catching up. Sadly her grandmother had recently passed away so she was happy for the distraction and she hadn't heard about my firefighter, so I had to share the entire story with her! Eb is a judgement free zone. I know her secrets and she knows mine, so of course I even shared the one rocky moment I had with my new beau. Of course the important part for her was his actions after. I was able to share just how happy he makes me and I hadn't realised how much that was until I was talking to Eb.

Eb has been having trouble sleeping since her grandmother passed, so I gave her some of my cocktail to take home... my drinks tend to knock you out. She had tried various remedies and nothing had worked. So I texted her yesterday to see if she had managed any sleep and guess what? It had knocked her straight out! I will not divulge my secrets, but my drinks are pretty damn awesome. She had passed on my condolences to her mother and told her husband, a former co-worker of mine, how happy my firefighter makes me and he said it's about time! I feel so blessed to have them in my life. They have gone through their own personal tragedies over the last few years, losing a child to stillbirth and various other family members to illnesses, Eb's own mother went through a bout of cancer, but they are still strong. They are excited to start hanging out with us and so am I!

Being able to say out loud what a wonderful man I have in my life and having Eb see the happiness on my face amplified it even more. I can't wipe the smile away :-)

Evil 151... I am not as young as I used to be...

I've missed playing pool and have recently decided to return to my local Alehouse for a little R&R and friendly yet competitive pool. I'm not the best player in there, but I'm also definitely not the worst.... After spending the early evening cleaning and chasing the kids to get their homework done, I decided to go out and take a couple of hours to myself. When I arrived, Harry was already on one of the tables playing Butch. These two are probably my favourites. There were two 'young'uns' also hanging around the table, so when Butch beat Harry, they had quarters down and picked up their cues to play. Since they both moved to the table Butch thought they wanted to play doubles, so he let them rack up and came over to say hi.... during which 2 minute time span, they proceeded to start playing. Each other. Yes, they stole Butch's table. Well they were horrendous and the game took FOREVER, but it was fun entertainment watching them miss shots right in front of the pocket, nudge solids out of the way to sink the cue ball.... Anyway, we ended up being not very subtle and hinting that there were real players who wanted to get on the table. Harry and Butch suggested I play Kenny, who works there, but had knocked off earlier. I have never played Kenny before, but he's pretty good and the games went back and forth. By about the third game, Kenny suggested we do a shot. Well, being a rum drinker, I didn't want to mix, so I opted (yes, voluntarily) for Bacardi 151.

I now hate Kenny.

For the record. I used to drink 151 regularly with little or no ill-effects... just some minor memory loss of everything beyond the the consumption of the 4th or 5th shot.... Last night I had one (very large) shot. I woke up feeling ok. I showered, dressed, took the boys to the bus. All ok. As I was driving to the office, I received a not welcome email from my lawyer. So I'm not sure which created the headache. The ridiculous settlement offer from my ex (ridiculous because it defies the description of EQUITABLE DISTRIBUTION), or the single shot of 151.... We will never know for sure. Unless I take another shot. Which probably won't happen.

We will discuss the "Equitable Distribution" another time. Like maybe when he and his lawyer learn the definition of EQUITABLE. Hell might very well be frozen by then.

Can't help spoiling my Baby Girl

So, I became the parent of a teen on Wednesday. And though we've had our ups and downs the last 12 months, despite everything, I couldn't help myself and spoiled the child rotten!

She woke up early to balloons and flowers and opened her cards. I made her favourite breakfast of French toast while pulling the boys lunches together. Then she went off to school with her invitations (very late) for tonight's sleepover. Then it was off to her favourite restaurant Romano's Macaroni Grill  for her favourite macaroni and cheese! (I know, very fancy, right!) with Gigi's cupcakes for dessert. She was given her gifts while we waited for dinner and she received a very nice, even if I do say so myself, purple Pandora bracelet with a music note charm from me, Call of Duty Black Ops II from her brothers with a purple controller, then the coup de grace was waiting on the passenger seat of the car when she came out of the restaurant. A new laptop bundle, which was just too big to wrap, my firefighter suggested leaving it on the seat for her. Her face was priceless!!

So job well done on Wednesday, I've had to take a half day today to get everything ready for her 'party' which is more just a gathering of friends to ooh and ahh over her gifts... And a few ladies to help me get over the fact that I am old. Old enough to have a teen.

Baby girl is growing up

Mixed emotions this week. My Baby girl is turning 13 tomorrow. I'm so proud to see her growing up and become a young lady and yet traumatised by the thought that I'm old enough to have a teen.... who has a boyfriend. Well.... she says they're not, but I wish I had a friend who was a boy in middle school who gave me Valentine's Day gifts... I never got Valentine's Day gifts in grade school. Actually, I've rarely had Valentine's gifts...

So this is my last day as a mother of three children... tomorrow I will have an adolescent, 3 years away from her first drivers license, 5 years away from her first vote, first legal drink (yes, I will be taking her to England for her 18th!) etc, etc.

I asked her what she wanted for her birthday. She gave me the name of a video game. That her baby brother wants. SMH. She has the most generous soul when it comes to her brothers.